1 April..


Sorry its been too long since then..A lots of things happen, but it is common and usual, you know..routine stuff..except for getting busy more and more, I often call the exam as a war, becoz we are really in a war, with ourself..Fighting to awaken our true potential from lazyness, from everythings..However, in the past month, I mean the month that I’ve been born..March..A lot of things happen in that month..

love_is____appreciation__by_hjstory-d30yhxhNot only the good things, but bad things do occur..its all about love, about life, and about ourself..With love, dishonest, lack of trust, and a lot of aspect really can kill love. This phenomenon really happen to my close friend, here. In my way of thought, being in love is not simply for, you know, for fun, for “requirement”, for showing off, and so on. It is the first phase for us to learn, how to be responsible, how to control everything in us, patience, anger, sad, and every human emotion that all of us can ever think of. Its also teach us the various of things, learning how to understand each other, put ourselves in each others shoes, handle with emotion, how to be a good listener, and so on. For me, that is my perception when we love someone. For example, look at my big bro, both of them. They love their couple, loving each other, get married, having a son, and facing all of the trouble together, although it is not as simple as talking or writing like this, but that is love..Commitment, serious, this relationship is not as simple as we think. At the time we were alone, far away from our couple, starting to get bored, lonely and so on, we will start thinking of, “I better find someone, you know, just for fun, my girlfriend wouldn’t know. After im done, im gonna ditch her..”


That’s is mostly what we always face in this days. Just for fun, for fun and for fun. We didn’t think the consequences of our act, we didn’t put ourselves in their shoes. Now lets try to put ourselves in theirs..When we found out our beloved one with someone else, happily ever after, looking at us like we don’t exist in his eyes, like the relationship never exist at all. Now feel it, and then think. Is it hurt? Being fooled by the others? Is it common? Is it cool? Is it FUN? Well im not qualify for all of this, but as a human, a man, this is my perception..Before we are doing some things which we may regret for, think twice, or don’t do it at all. Good partner in life are really hard to find, believe me, I know. But when we had it, some of people still unsatisfied for what they already have. What more that we wanted? What else? In the earlier phase in relationship, of course we have a desire in our selves, me as a man also included. We want to hold our couple’s hand, we want to take her to watch late movie, gazing the star together, walking to nowhere together, and so on, like in the romance movie that we always dream of.

love_is____hiding_together__by_hjstory-d31qqgdHey im being honest here, I also want to do all of that, but please, awake..awake from that dream, that is really unreal. In our country, our family have a dignity, maruah, and we, as a Malaysian, known by all, with our kindness in our heart, our morality, sopan santun, berbudi pekerti. Of course we can do all of that, but in reality, it is very wrong. We still have Allah swt, our religion, we have our own lines that we need to keep stay out of it. Do not ever step out of the line, because when you do, lu pikir la sendiri..So, some man keep using this as excuse to find another spare tire, not all of them of course.They said, “susah lah, ini tak bleh, itu tak bleh, nak keluar malam tak bleh, nak pegang tangan susah, ini susah, itu susah, rimaslah..Baik cari seseorang yang boleh buat semua tuh, boleh bawa keluar jalan jalan, pegang2 tangan and so on, lagi best..”But do you realize who is talking when you are really thought of this matter, it is not you anymore, its your nafsu, Nafs..So when you do thinking of this, think back..Why do you want her, to be your life partner? To be your fun couple? To be your “Touch n Go” partner? Choose wisely..And think deeply, what are our desire actually.


Well im saying this also for myself, as a reminder, there is a lot of things that happens around me, and I intend to make all of it as a life lesson,as a reminder. And of course, sharing is caring. I care for you, so that’s why I share. So, still wondering what I am trying to say? Well don’t, it is simple and easy. Just think it is, like this. All of us do want a muslimah, or wanita solehah to be our wife right? Well, of course she must be kind, can take care of us whenever we cant, caring, and loving us. But ask our selves, are we deserve it? Look at our self, are we ready enough?Are we good enough? Because, relationship, marriage, is not as simple like in the movie, or in the novel..Love ourselves before we love the other, when we do that, we will learn a lot of things believe me, not only love, but respect as well, responsibility, patience, and all..But of course, we are not a perfect being, we are just human, from clay, earth, given a soul/ roh and walking in this earth finding our reason to live..We are made each other, to complete each other, to walk in His path, leading to His path, and of course, aiming for redhaNya, insyaAllah.


I really don’t know why I writing this entry, but, I just feel like it, sometime He want to test us, with a lot of obstacle in life, just to make sure we are back to Him again, praying for help, for guidance, for our weaknesses, becoz it is already our nature. Whenever we feel unable to do anything regardless to the problem we faced, kita tawakkal, and give the rest to Allah swt. We pray for peace in our heart, that’s why He give us the test, to make us realize the purpose of us living and walking in this very earth, the purpose of our existence, for what purpose you say? To be the loyal servant to Him, because that is us, our real selves.  Well I guess, that’s all for tonight, enough with blabbering and night walking, get back to sleep, but keep it in mind, our experience is our teacher..Life lesson is an enhancement to our humanity, to improve ourselves, to be a better person in the future, insyaAllah..